Lost points – a parody poem from 1903

A screen grab of the Reading Observer masthead.
A screen grab of the Reading Observer masthead.

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It’s not normal for us to cover Reading FC on Football In Berkshire, but after coming across this poem from the early 20th century, we couldn’t resist sharing it with you.

It was published in the Reading Observer on Saturday September 11th 1903 and is a parody of a hymn called “There is a Happy Place” by Scotsman Andrew Young.


In the search for Southern league points poor Reading oft got floored,

Up to the time of writing, not a single goal they’ve scored.

Their visit to New Brompton brought them bothing else but woe,

That seven goals to none defeat was a very nasty blow.

And then the boys from Bedfordshire came up here for the day,

And took two more Southern points, far, far away.

Leyton next arrived in Berks, the biscuit came to take,

But how they ever made a draw it fairly “takes the cake,”

For Reading were the better team, of that there’s little doubt,

And on the run of play deserved the Leyton team to rout;

But bad luck once again across the Reading path did stray,

And Leyton took one more point far, far away.

But if in Southern League we fail, there’s the English Cup to bag.

And should it reach our good old town we’ll have a regular “Rag”;

And really now that aeroplanes are mounting to the sky,

Why shouldn’t Reading win the Cup, and pigs begin to fly?

If Reading win the English Cup the pigs may fly all day,

But that time, like the five lost points, as far, far away.


Transcribed from the excellent British Newspaper Archive.

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